If you say you love someone, then you have to agree that you’d be willing to sacrifice anything—including your relationship with said person—in order to improve either themselves personally or their life, or perhaps even just the way that they live it.
Any other perspective is simply an indication of insecurity or denial. If you really love someone, then you absolutely must do what is right and do what you can to help them in even the most intangible, philosophical ways.
Love is an act of sacrifice, of giving, and purely of giving. What you get back should be, at the core of all other things, a feeling of vindication for having done the right thing for them. Not the right thing by them, but the right thing for them. There is a difference, and it’s less subtle than you’d think.
And, again, losing them is a risk you must take if you truly love them. Because, even if it’s not immediate, they should at some point realize that helping them was your motivation for whatever it is that the split was over.
In a perfect world, someone would see that as soon as any such action was taken, and be appreciative of it. Realistically though, people see only what they need to see at the time, and take action based on that, in addition to exterior influences.
“The right thing” is not arbitrary, “the right thing” is your gut feeling, your “soul” telling you that something’s wrong and needs to be fixed. If you truly love someone, you’ll figure out what that thing is and how you can go about best fixing it.
If you won’t take action based on what your gut’s telling you, then you really don’t love someone. “Love” is not a term I take lightly, and the same should be the same for everyone.
The concept of a soulmate, by the way, is pure crap. There is always someone better, more loving, more compatible or more understanding of the true concept of love than the person you have right this instant. Taking the risk of ending a relationship to improve the life of the other partner in it is well worth it if things work out positively, and if they work out negatively, well frankly there is someone else, somewhere. Take steps to find them, and learn from the past.
There is nothing wrong with doing the right thing. No matter what the risk is, it has to be done. The feeling of selflessness is much more reassuring than the feeling garnered by silently accepting bad situations because doing so brings you some sense of security.
If you can’t accept that, then you’re deluding yourself. The world is not a place of constants. If you can help improve someone else’s life in even the smallest, truest way, then you should be happy.
Keep in mind that there are some people who would argue that they do everything they can to keep their partners contented, but that’s not what I’m saying. Not every good thing you can do for your partner will actually make them happy—but it will make you happy for having made the attempt to help them.
Regardless of whether or not the targeted individual realizes they need what you want to do for them, you should do it. It might piss them off, but it’s an act of real love. Inaction is proof of moral weakness on your part when it comes to someone you love.
Do what you can to help improve the person you love’s life. If it was “meant to be,” then they will see that you’ve done so and come to love you more… and hopefully they will do the same for you. If they don’t see it, and are displeased by what action you’ve tried to take, then so be it. It wasn’t meant to be. They don’t understand the true concept of love, and you are better off without them.
Keep at it until you find someone that does appreciate and acknowledge what you do for them. Maybe you never will, but at least you will be able to look back and say that you genuinely tried to find real love, and you’ll take pride in the fact that you didn’t settle for Love Lite.